With a six-year-old, we are only at the beginning of the homework trials and tribulations. Most days my little guy is happy to do his exercises and get on to bath and bedtime snacks. Other days, we have a problem. Tonight was one of those nights.
Like anything, as a parent, you are faced with a choice. You can try empty threats (No snack for you!). You can try begging (Please do this for mommy). You can raise your mom and demand that the homework gets done, especially if, like my day, your car wouldn’t start and you had a difficult client to deal with.
If you keep your wits about you and get creative, you can get it done with minimal fuss. Tonight was one of those nights. A long day at the sitter’s due to the school’s storm closure, my son was tired and fussy. Then I realized that I had a carrot to dangle in front of his nose. Leftover whipped cream from my parent’s last visit, it was just sitting in the fridge taking up space.
So, I made him a deal. Do your phrases; get a little whipped cream in your mouth. Done. Math problems? Done. Within minutes, a half hour of wheedling was avoided. It was a small treat and one that I wouldn’t do every night but that is why we all sometimes need a ‘carrot’ sometimes.
So, next time you need a carrot dangled in front of your nose, look for a little something to make the job easier. Don’t be so hard on yourself or your child. A win-win situation makes a hard job a little easier.
And if you get a little whipped cream out of, so much the better!
After an especially frustrating day, I was relieved when bedtime duty went to Dad, the kitchen was clean and I was able to skulk upstairs with a glass of red wine and my weathered “Mastiff” book. Then it hit me, rather than getting lost in the pages of the book, I should be telling people why they should be reading Tamora Pierce. It may help the next person who is crawling up to their bed after a bad day and needs a light-hearted book to help escape the day’s woes.
Now, if you were to borrow this book (which you won’t because it’s been dropped in the bath on more than one occasion and a few of the pages have marks from food that went from fork to page, not fork to mouth) you would likely feel like this is a book that has been ‘read’. Not just opened and finished once, but read often and with pleasure. Tonight’s re-read, “Mastiff” by Tamora Pierce, is the last of a trilogy about one of my favourite heroes, Beka Cooper.
Now, I’m over 40. I get it. We aren’t supposed to have heroes, but Beka’s creator, Tamora Pierce, said it best when she wrote, “It’s not just children who need heroes.” Beka is my hero. I know she’s not real, but I like to think that she is when I re-read the pages of the three Beka Cooper books.
What is it about fictional characters that draws us in? Is it the fact that we know they aren’t real so we don’t have to try to accomplish as much or live through as many terrible events? Whatever the case may be, Tamora Pierce, in the “Protectors of the Small” and the “Beka Cooper” books, has managed to invent female characters who are stoic, kind, and above all, brave. Oh, what an amazing thing it is to be brave enough to face such dangers. If only one small part of me is stronger as a result of a fictional character, I hope that Tamora feels she has done her job.
Another one of my favourite lines in Tamora’s books is: “Girls are 50% of the population. We deserve to represent 50% of the heroes.” These are great female characters for a number of reasons. They face challenges, which they overcome, but they are also very ‘believable’.
If you’d like to learn more about these great characters, do the following:
Buy the books (I linked it to Chapters Indigo as their great staff told us about Keladry many years ago!) Note: Get the hard cover editions that will stand up to falls in the tub and late night ice cream treats.
Look for fan art, articles and other blog posts by googling Keladry of Mindelan and Beka Cooper! Check out the attached, amazing artwork of Keladry of Mindelan and Beka Cooper!
Read this interesting article about Keladry of Mindelan as a Feminist in Fiction. She truly was written to help girls have a voice and be themselves and for that I love her (yeah, yeah, I know she’s fictional).
Last but not least, take a moment to look up the author, Tamora Pierce, who writes phrases that stick with you. Her belief that “Libraries are places where the damaged go to find friends” is one that I have always kept with me. It’s further proof that books can engage, console, and even heal us.
So now if you’ll excuse me. I have a book to read. I will open it, read a few pages to remind myself of Beka’s latest adventures (and how great she is) before drifting off to sleep. There is no better way to treat myself after a frustrating day. Except maybe if tomorrow is a storm day and by some magic, I have the house to myself!
A few weeks ago, I headed downtown on a Sunday morning to participate in my fourth PodCampHalifax. I could go on about the cool people, topics and vibe that comes from this event but that is not what tonight’s post is about (Want to know? Search for #PodCampHfx blog posts).
It’s about a promise I made to myself upon leaving PodCampHalifax this year. Every time I attend, I wonder why we don’t have this event more often. I know what some people will say. What makes it work so well is the fact that it’s once a year, held during the same month and always on the coldest Sunday in January. Right? Well, maybe that’s the case but I still think another event, planned by people devoted to making the event as successful as PodCampHalifax, can work, especially if we should focus on a more specific theme.
Cue the ‘bloging conference idea’. I know from my event planning days that having a clear objective is crucial to a successful event. One of the things I enjoy doing in my spare time is reading, writing and monitoring blogs. What about a blog conference for Maritime bloggers? Perfect.
Second, I knew I would need some partners-in-crime. The right team of volunteers can make great things happen. A few dedicated people that agree to contribute their time and energy are more than enough for a successful conference.
Third, I knew we would need to start planning. While our first meeting was postponed due to stormy weather, I am hopeful this week’s meeting will take place. We have a Facebook group page, almost a dozen interested bloggers, and some momentum.
Will this blog conference become a second PodCampHalifax?
Personally, I’m hoping it morphs into its own crazy, fun event that like-minded bloggers and blogger-wannabes (like me) from across the Maritimes will want to attend.
My wish is that we will entice speakers who want to share their insight with a captivated and welcoming audience.
I would love to secure sponsors who understand the power of a blogger with an engaged audience who can help us keep our costs down.
Are you interested in learning more?
Connect with us (via the Facebook Halifax Bloggers group) if you’d like to volunteer before or during the event. Email me if you want to learn more without committing to a group. Knowing my fellow committee members, I guarantee not only will we promote it well, but also that it will be a tremendous success.
What does success look like? if one person leaves this conference feeling engaged, informed and empowered, I will have achieved my personal goal. And I can bet I’m going to have fun along the way.
Last fall, I attended a wine tasting event for my son’s school. It was my good deed but even while drinking wine, I managed to keep my head on straight for the silent auction. I dabbled with certain items but then zoned in on a one-week day camp for my son. I monitored the list and waited for the auction to be over.
Voila! I was the proud owner of the day camp certificate. A week later, I received a call from the organizer saying that I had also bid (and won) the hot yoga certificate. It was for two weeks at Moksha Yoga Bedford – a yoga studio that I had seen many times on my way home from the drug store.
Seen but never entered. Driven by but never stopped in.
Yoga is not for me, I thought. I don’t have the body, agility, or time to do yoga.
I began thinking of whom I could pawn it off on (I mean gift it to). Not one person came to mind. The friend I offered it to said hot yoga was not for her. Everyone else lived too far or would likely refuse it.
I then realized my need to get my money’s worth out of the certificate outweighed my fear of actually doing yoga. The one time in my life, I thought, that my frugality may be a bad thing.
At first, I delayed going until during, then after, the holidays. Then, I got sick, so I delayed some more.
Finally, after weeks of carrying that gift card in my wallet, I gathered up my courage and walked in for a tour. Thinking back this seems silly. After all, it was neither a job interview nor a doctor’s appointment. The thought of wearing spandex and going barefoot into a hot room in an effort to relax and get in shape seemed counter-intuitive.
I went in. Everyone was so nice. The tour was great. I honestly couldn’t wait to try the shower with its lovely smelling products.
My first time was yoga with music, which I can honestly say I prefer to other classes. I was new to yoga, overweight and out of shape. The mirrors were enormous! Everyone seemed to have nicer exercise clothes, pedicures, and experience. I walked in, pretended I knew what I was doing, and got through my first class. Then my second. And my third. OK, I think I’m hooked.
My favourite part of yoga? The moment that cold facecloth hits your forehead at the end of class. I don’t know if this is typical of hot yoga or a nice perk the studio does but it’s a real treat. You have put in the effort; you’re sweaty and hot. In those few moments before that facecloth itself gets hot; you have a brief and cool reward for the last 60 minutes of sweat.
Part of the reason for my newfound love for hot yoga is my instructor Laura. She is both helpful and cheerful. She has guided me through moves and recognized my return each time with a great smile.
Hot yoga may not be the bravest thing I’ve ever done nor the most painful, but trying something new and going outside my comfort level has been a great experience for me. Try as I might, I still don’t always breathe right (or breathe at all!), remove the outside world distractions from my thoughts or relax, but I am getting better. Today I only drummed my fingers to the music for a few moments before I stopped myself. That’s progress, right?
And those showers I mentioned at the beginning? They are worth the work. If the thought of a nice shower and a friendly face gets me to class, I’ll take it. And if this helps me feel better and be healthier, so be it.
It has been over a decade since I proudly took on the new role of ‘Online Communications Manager’. At the time this role was as innovative as today’s social media strategist and online community manager. You cannot imagine how excited I was to improve the company’s current internal and external websites, run website diagnostics and focus groups on how to improve the website, and in general, make our online portals sing and dance. I was young, creative, and excited to share my passion for all things online.
What a shock to me, early in my career, when I realized how negatively people reacted to changes to the company website.
Move the location of their favourite website? Don’t you dare!
Change the large banner that links to the company bulletin board? How could you?
I soon realized that websites, especially in the early 2000s were very new for many employees and any change at all could bring about headaches and even calls from a vice president’s office. That story is for another day.
Interestingly, the one thing that garnered the most visits, but also the more issues, was our company employee directory. It far outranked any website for number of visits. People didn’t write down a colleague’s telephone number or save it to their contacts, they would simply return, repeatedly, to find their phone number.
Why was this issue? Well, imagine, when the employee’s contact information was outdated, missing or just plain wrong?! The horror! Rita got a new haircut? Why did she have red hair in her profile picture?!
I will never forget the day an email came into from website feedback page from an employee who was trying to get her contact information fixed. Now before I go on, let me say that the employee directory was fed from a different department and not one that I had any control over. However, this person, while contacting our general feedback email address to tell ‘me’ to ‘pull up my socks and get it fixed’! I was young, a little sensitive, and doing my best. What can I say? It hurt my feelings.
The first thing I remember thinking was that this was a very rude person. Didn’t they read my lovely fact sheets and how-to documents? Didn’t they see the flashing arrows (well, okay, they didn’t actually flash) and all the tips we posted to help people update the employee directory profile? No, they didn’t because that is not what people choose to see. People’s experience with websites is very different, some react to images and others focus more on words.
What has been consistent throughout my career is how much more aggressive people can be when they are communicating through a computer. In an email, you can insult someone for not doing their job, for mixing up your order, or just in general messing up. This is normally done using language that you would never do otherwise. Now, I’m not naïve. Some people really are as rude in person as they are in an email, but they are the minority.
I eventually grew a thicker skin. I became accustomed to getting negative feedback emails about the websites that I managed. I resolved this by picking up the phone to contact the individual and explain how the issue could be resolved. Each time, the person on the other end of the line would apologize for their language. Some were even a little sheepish about what they had written.
What had I done differently? I had put a face to an email address. I wasn’t feedback@XX.ca. I was Christine. In conversation, they learned that I was a human being. I had a daughter. I loved my cat. During our discussions about their website issue, they discovered the email they had sent went to someone who did not deserve their wrath.
The same thing applies to social media. Day after day, I read Facebook comments or tweets to companies whose accounts are managed by human beings. I get it. People are frustrated. Their dishwasher isn’t getting fixed. They got the wrong shoes. Their Internet isn’t working. I also see real human beings answering those rants with words like ‘don’t give up on us’ or ‘give us another try’.
No matter how bad the situation, it is never necessary to use bad language or insinuate that everyone who works for the company is an idiot. We know better than to rant and rave in personal conversations (for the most part) but we need to remember that respect is also needed when we type words into an email, tweet, or post.
Social media channels and websites are considered impersonal channels of communications, but in reality, they are not. Someone is watching behind the scenes and usually doing all they can to make the website the best it can be.
Emails strip away the body language that takes up so much of your attention. All that is left is a screen with words written on them, some lovely and some bad. It is up to us to ensure that these words include please, thank you, or whatever the situation requires.
To return to the individual who told me to ‘pull up my socks’. A few months later, I met her face-to-face when she was introduced to me by a mutual friend. Interestingly, when I told her about my role with the company, she remembered sending the email and even acknowledged what she had written was inappropriate. She apologized. It was a nice moment, and while not everyone apologizes, I remember hoping that when her next frustrating moment arose and an email was being typed out furiously and with great acrimony that she would remember online interactions go to human beings like me.
I first read Thomas Friedman’s The World is Flat in 2005 and recently had the opportunity to re-read parts of it. While some of the content is dated, it is still a great book.
The World is Flat made me think about my children’s future. The flattening of the world will affect them. Our parents used to say ‘eat your food because there are people on the other side of the world who are starving.’ After reading The World is Flat, I believe as parents, we should tell our kids to get a good education and stay in school because there are people on the other side of the world who will take their jobs. There are people with the passion and drive to eat your breakfast, lunch, and supper!
The fact that someone would write a brief history of the twenty-first century may seem odd , that is unless you consider how things have changed over the last few years. 5 days can bring about tremendous change to our world.
The World is Flat includes Thomas Friedman’s Top Ten Flatteners; events or actions that have contributed to the world’s flattening. They include such events as the collapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989 to the un-official launch of the World Wide Web in 1995.
Actions that have greatly contributed to our flat world also include open-sourcing, in-sourcing, and supply chain management. I have said this frequently; being productive is crucial. Throughout the industrialized world, it seems like everyone is striving to produce more with less.
Thomas relies heavily on the fact that leveling or ‘flattening’ is taking place because of technology. Take Japan for example. Thomas describes a colleague working online while sitting on a bullet train, traveling at speeds over 200 km/hour! He also mentions the massive technologies that are in place in India; companies are hosting customers 24/7, 365 days a year. Thomas also explains that a flat world will enable us to work virtually and in a socially responsible manner. Companies, like HP, are working with developing countries to help their neighbours improve their lives, using their technology, of course.
Although a book written in 2005 may seem out-dated, it is still an interesting read if you want to know more about how the world is no longer limited by time zones and continents. Here is the book to read if you want to know how and why this has happened.
This time last year, I was working on building this very website, fine-tuning my personal branding and meeting with new clients. I had finally decided to step away from the corporate world that had been my safe and secure world for over 13 years. I was leaving a job that I did well to be my own boss, coach, manager, bookkeeper, cheerleader and all the other roles that an entrepreneur must perform on a daily basis.
Although I had learned many valuable skills during my career, I realized that I had become too comfortable, too assured in the work that I did. While I was taking on new roles and responsibilities, especially in the field of social media, I had become complacent and knew that I needed a change. I knew the majority of people in the company I worked for had started and stayed in the same role their entire career. I never wanted that for me.
I wanted to try something new, to create social business initiatives for companies keen to engage with their customers.
Without giving the whole thing much thought, I left the safey of a large ship and rowed my little boat out to sea, taking risks I had never taken before. I made mistakes and learned from them. I met incredible people who taught me how to market myself and share my knowledge and experience. I leveraged my bilingual skills and wrote blog posts for websites that I had always visited but never thought I had anything valuable to share. I have given workshops on social media and secured great clients, and even learned how to network; a skill that does not come easily to me nor to most other people as I have learned.
The most important thing that I learned over the past year is what I want for my next career. Whether I continue working as a consultant or accept a permanent role, I know I want to work with a group of creative and ambitious individuals who are dedicated to working as a team to accomplish their goals. I am keen to choose companies who put their customers first and who won’t achieve their financial success to the detriment of their employees. I want a role that excites me to work hard and think big, empowers me to achieve great things, and gives me the experience that I am looking to build.
Do yourself a favour if you feel you have lost your motivation for your current role.
Take a risk.
Try something new.
You may lose the security of a great/safe job, but you will find something you didn’t know you had lost, a career that makes you proud.
Today was a day that I am very proud to promote on social channels and to my friends and family.
Earth Day is an event that I have celebrated for as long as I can remember, although I didn’t realize it has been going on since 1970. I remember celebrating in high-school when I was running a small environment committee with a few friends and we would collect paper and pop cans from milk crates that we had put in each classroom. I remember taking part in an Earth Day clean-up where we pulled shopping carts from the river that runs near the Bedford Place mall. Every year, I try to do something to recognize this special day, knowing that one day a year is not enough for a planet that keeps providing us with all the things we need to survive.
And then this morning, I read a tweet that raised what has been nagging at the back of mind every April 22, when I am proudly putting trash in a garbage bag. A fellow Mom blogger who I respect tweeted “Happy #EarthDay!” while reminding her thousands of followers that while we should recognize Earth Day on April 22, every day should be a day focused on making the earth a better place to live.
And she is right. Garbage should be picked up 365 days throughout the year. People should remember to reduce their energy and water use yearly and not only one special day. Maybe April 22 can eventually be a date where we promote tips that we have in place throughout the year. One can always hope.
So, while I didn’t make a big splash today and I don’t have any great photos of me with bags of garbage. It’s my fault that I didn’t find a clean-up I could participate in. I can tell you what I did do. I ran around the house turning the heat down and lights off before leaving for the day. I took the bus to work, like I always do. I drank (most of) my coffee out of my re-usable mug.
This post isn’t meant to sound negative or preachy. I was glad to see all the companies and organizations who had Earth Day activities or promoted some great information. I only hope Earth Day continues to serve as a reminder that we need to do our part to help our planet.
I read The Happiness Project in January and to say that I loved the book is an under-statement. At least once a day, I think of a phrase I read that resonates with me or read one of Gretchen’s daily emails and instantly feel that I am doing something to move forward in life with a smile on my face.
I mentioned this book at a birthday party recently and realized that I just had to get a blog post up in order to make myself feel happier. I need to prove to myself that I can write an imperfect blog post; a post that shares how much I Iove a particular book without me spending numerous hours writing and editing (in detail) why you should buy or borrow The Happiness Project.
So, here it is – I love The Happiness Project and I think you should absolutely read it. This book helped me uncover the fact that I can work to be happy even if I know I am not perfect. I was the university student with two part-time jobs who worked on Friday nights while her friends were relaxing. I was a “proud workaholic” in my last career who thought it was cool to work on a Sunday night so that my Monday mornings were stress-free. Was working to be perfect helping me feel happier. Nope.
It’s not all bubble baths and tickle fights
Let me be clear. The book’s author, Gretchen Rubin, never mentions being perfect; she encourages people to focus on finding things that make them happy. However, things that make her happy are activities that I also love – having a process, being polite, spending out – so this book resonated with me.
As well, Gretchen’s Twelve Commandments are ones we can all related to, including:
1. Be Gretchen [insert your name here].
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out. (This is probably the most enigmatic of my commandments.)
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.
I love that reading this book helped me identify how while it’s great to work hard in life, trying to be perfect all the time makes me unhappy. Even writing this proof is progress! I have so many great blog posts in my head, but if I do not have 8 hours of uninterrupted writing time, I don’t write them. So now it’s written and going up with only one round of editing and spell-checking (Hey, it’s progress…)
Do something for yourself. Read this book. It’s not a self-help book. It’s a personal reflection of how important it is to be happy.
Visit The Happiness Project website
Check out the quizzes, videos and even tips to creating your own Happiness Project!
And if you find a typo, contact me. Just because I am trying to write more and worry less about imperfect posts, doesn’t mean I want a typo in here!